If you have read me for while, you might have noticed that from a few weeks ago, I have not been able to follow a pattern on my publications. If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram you might have noticed as well that I am not able to publish a lot. Ladies and gentlemen, I must admit that I have just hit a plateau in my blogging career, and, since I am getting a little bit tired of it, I decided to give it its own blog post so it can feel ashamed of itself (or of myself?)
These two months, personally and professionally have been a whole roller coaster. They haven’t been exactly what I had planned. Lets say that before that I have been working my butt hard to earn my spot in the travel blogosphere. I have made a lot of collabs, I earned my spot in Huffington Post, I became a speaker in the Puerto Rico BloggerCon Eat.Travel.Blog convention and I have also been republished by other sites. During this time as well I have been receiving a lot of love from others bloggers and readers. Life as a Travel Blogger was going according to plan. I was 100% focused on blogging and teaching (I’m a Part Time Teacher as well), nothing else took space in my mind. But then it happened. Love came to hit me hard and unexpectedly.
I won’t go through a lot of details, I made a promise I will write my “Love Story” and that I will do like Taylor Swift or Adele: I will make a lot of money out of my sad love story. Why it is so negative that love had hit me so hard? Because while I felt more attached to this person, I felt less attached to my blog, to my goals, and even to my own wanderlust. I still feel I want to use all my time to for this person. I still think I share so many things with him and that is so unfair that life puts you in this kind of situations. Even though we have the best chemistry ever it looks like, we can’t actually spend our whole life together.
Shit happens. All that struggle and overthinking have taken away my motivation (as you may know, I’m kind of an anxious person) to write and to develop travel topics.
This post is written as an introspection to my own creative process and everything I have done before “falling in love”. The other day I was lucky enough to find a post by Claire from Tales of a Backpacker with which I felt totally identified because, I know I need to go. One of the things I did, to feel I was stronger than all the feelings I was developing, was telling this person that I was leaving forever. In fact, my travel plans were there before I met him. As you guys already know, I am participating next month in TBEX Europe and yeah, I booked that participation a year ago.
Back to Europe!
Another of my plans for this year were actually relocating after this Summer. I want to move to Europe, but now he came into my life while I was working on all of this to make me reconsider everything I thought it was clear, but no, I decided to put my plans before him. That was actually its natural order, he just became an exception. I told him (considering I am traveling in July and that I already applied to a Masters in Spain) that I am leaving forever. He has always been a little upset about the idea of not seeing each other anymore, but I am sure it will be better. Whatever is happening between us does not really seems to makes that much sense but only in those moments we spend together.
I am totally sure it does not worth it to change my life in this moment for him or for no one else. That is the reason why I needed to write this, to tell myself that first, I am a traveler and a blogger, and then, I am a woman who is willing to love someone who is 100% there for me, not only a 10%. I will try to repeat that mantra EVERY TIME I come back to this blog to be able to keep on writing, all those adventures that have a space in my life before him.
So basically, love has made me become an unfocused travel blogger. I am hoping that, after writing this, I can be able to be back on track.